dogs kissing goats...what could be better?
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Rest
I really need rest.
Good, relaxing, comfy clothed, warmed by the fireplace, bored to tears, snuggled up
REST
Clawing my way out of a disorderly, stressful, frazzled couple of weeks which ended with a grand finale kind of weekend…
Losing our house (it wasn’t supposed to happen yet)…
no place to go, so many things to get rid of (8.5 years worth of life together…sold in one garage sale)…
A broken husband (bad timing on the back going out)…
Muscling up to get the things we are keeping into one place…
Guilt and sadness over giving up my 3 kitties (they have my heart)…
4 nights of insufficient sleep (can’t quiet the mind)…
House-hopping and living out of suitcases (has anyone seen my cell charger?)...
Has all brought me to my knees…but I am not curled up in a little ball about to give up on life.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
On the horizon:
2 weeks in a cabin-like retreat
A steady job where I can come to calm my mind
Moving into the cutest apartment I’ve ever laid eyes on
Ministry visits with old and new friends who share our excitement
And finally, the next grand finale of packing up our things and moving to Spain!
Praise be to God. (For He is preparing me for the future and as hard as it may seem at times, I am thankful.)
Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light.
Good, relaxing, comfy clothed, warmed by the fireplace, bored to tears, snuggled up
REST
Clawing my way out of a disorderly, stressful, frazzled couple of weeks which ended with a grand finale kind of weekend…
Losing our house (it wasn’t supposed to happen yet)…
no place to go, so many things to get rid of (8.5 years worth of life together…sold in one garage sale)…
A broken husband (bad timing on the back going out)…
Muscling up to get the things we are keeping into one place…
Guilt and sadness over giving up my 3 kitties (they have my heart)…
4 nights of insufficient sleep (can’t quiet the mind)…
House-hopping and living out of suitcases (has anyone seen my cell charger?)...
Has all brought me to my knees…but I am not curled up in a little ball about to give up on life.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
On the horizon:
2 weeks in a cabin-like retreat
A steady job where I can come to calm my mind
Moving into the cutest apartment I’ve ever laid eyes on
Ministry visits with old and new friends who share our excitement
And finally, the next grand finale of packing up our things and moving to Spain!
Praise be to God. (For He is preparing me for the future and as hard as it may seem at times, I am thankful.)
Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
I'm Fine, really I am...
I’ve been catching myself using that phrase just a bit too often lately.
‘How are you feeling about moving out of your house?’ ‘Oh well, it’s stressful and bittersweet, but I’m fine’.
‘How are you feeling about your brother moving away?’ ‘I’m a bit of a wreck inside about it, don’t have many people to share my feelings with…but I know it’s good for him, so I’m fine’.
‘How are you feeling about giving up your cats that you’ve had for the last 8.5 years?’ ‘Well, we really don’t have a choice so I’m trying to pick fights with them to make it easier…really though, I’m fine’.
‘How did you sleep last night?’ ‘Sleep? What’s that…kidding. I didn’t get much sleep but I will be fine’.
I’m fine…?
I’m fine.
I’m fine!
I’M FINE!
Pardon the outburst, really, I’m fine.
I mean, I HAVE to hold it together…right?
‘How are you feeling about moving out of your house?’ ‘Oh well, it’s stressful and bittersweet, but I’m fine’.
‘How are you feeling about your brother moving away?’ ‘I’m a bit of a wreck inside about it, don’t have many people to share my feelings with…but I know it’s good for him, so I’m fine’.
‘How are you feeling about giving up your cats that you’ve had for the last 8.5 years?’ ‘Well, we really don’t have a choice so I’m trying to pick fights with them to make it easier…really though, I’m fine’.
‘How did you sleep last night?’ ‘Sleep? What’s that…kidding. I didn’t get much sleep but I will be fine’.
I’m fine…?
I’m fine.
I’m fine!
I’M FINE!
Pardon the outburst, really, I’m fine.
I mean, I HAVE to hold it together…right?
Friday, January 14, 2011
Brick Walls
When I first started thinking about missions, I emailed a lady in our church about it; she's in the missions department and has been a part of my life as long as I can remember
She emailed me back and said the most memorable thing to me
‘Please don't think that if this is from God, everything will go smoothly from the beginning. In the years that I've been involved in Missions (okay life), that is rarely the case. Randy Pausch wrote in his book "The Last Lecture", that we will have brick walls in our paths from time to time. He states that "brick walls are there for a reason. They're not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something." I couldn't agree more. I think back a couple of years ago and know that God was working in you then regarding serving Him in a different way’
I could never have imagined that the things that would hinder us in our pursuit of this call would be so big.
She emailed me back and said the most memorable thing to me
‘Please don't think that if this is from God, everything will go smoothly from the beginning. In the years that I've been involved in Missions (okay life), that is rarely the case. Randy Pausch wrote in his book "The Last Lecture", that we will have brick walls in our paths from time to time. He states that "brick walls are there for a reason. They're not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something." I couldn't agree more. I think back a couple of years ago and know that God was working in you then regarding serving Him in a different way’
I could never have imagined that the things that would hinder us in our pursuit of this call would be so big.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Christian Talk Radio?
This morning I was listening to AM talk radio and stumbled upon a Christian channel. I decided to give it a listen and was amazed and appalled at the content. An older man was talking on the subject of having worn knees from prayer. He mentioned that if we were really honest, we’d all say that prayer is work and unnatural and not fun. He also said that he used to see people with holes, rips, and tears in their jeans and assume they didn’t have enough money for nice jeans, he recently realized that this is a fashion/stylish thing. He then said ‘what if Christians all had holes in their jeans at the knee area from praying so much’. Probably the only thing I actually positively took away from the listen was when he said that prayer was the way Jesus stayed connected to God while on earth and how it’s our way to connect with God now. That prayer is not an emotional response, it is communication.
I was discouraged to hear the next speaker come on to blatantly bash the Democratic Party; he said things that really made my blood boil. It’s like I time warped back about 15-20 years when my world was so small. I related more with the hypocritical Christians than the rest of the world. I am so thankful to have had some eye opening experiences in my life. I get so sad when I hear Christians bad mouthing any particular group of people. I really don’t think that we are here on this earth to tell people what they should and should not do. I earnestly believe that God wants us to show love and grace and mercy and for us to mirror his Son’s earthly life.
This is why a missional and incarnational approach can be so effective. When we are not judging people and their sin, when our focus isn’t numbers or finances or programming, we can step away from all of the weight that the ‘American Church’ has put on Christianity and simply build relationships. And then…a more natural and organic phenomenon can manifest.
I was discouraged to hear the next speaker come on to blatantly bash the Democratic Party; he said things that really made my blood boil. It’s like I time warped back about 15-20 years when my world was so small. I related more with the hypocritical Christians than the rest of the world. I am so thankful to have had some eye opening experiences in my life. I get so sad when I hear Christians bad mouthing any particular group of people. I really don’t think that we are here on this earth to tell people what they should and should not do. I earnestly believe that God wants us to show love and grace and mercy and for us to mirror his Son’s earthly life.
This is why a missional and incarnational approach can be so effective. When we are not judging people and their sin, when our focus isn’t numbers or finances or programming, we can step away from all of the weight that the ‘American Church’ has put on Christianity and simply build relationships. And then…a more natural and organic phenomenon can manifest.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Plans and Timetables
hmmm...I actually feel that my time here at work is coming to an end. Of course in my mind, it’s not soon enough. :) I have been trusting God more and more through this process of transition. When it began last October, I had my own schedule and time-frame. I had frustrations and stress throughout the process because things weren’t happening in the order I wanted. How silly of me.
And now, I’m not sure what is different, I don’t know if there was ever an actual event of surrender, but that’s what I’ve done. I’ve surrendered to God my timetable and He has in return, provided a ‘next step’ each time. The solutions or provisions don’t always come in a ‘timely’ manner, but little by little I am learning to trust Him and His plan for our lives. Just when I begin to panic or worry, I am reminded by some little nudging from above that He has my back.
I am in good hands.
For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
And now, I’m not sure what is different, I don’t know if there was ever an actual event of surrender, but that’s what I’ve done. I’ve surrendered to God my timetable and He has in return, provided a ‘next step’ each time. The solutions or provisions don’t always come in a ‘timely’ manner, but little by little I am learning to trust Him and His plan for our lives. Just when I begin to panic or worry, I am reminded by some little nudging from above that He has my back.
I am in good hands.
For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
The Theater
right now i feel like i'm at a theater
and my life is the play
and the audience is people in my life
and i'm standing backstage watching it happen
but it's exciting
like watching what God is doing and being willing to just 'go with His flow'
i'm not scared or stressed or anything
it's different from anything i've ever experienced
i just trust Him
Do you ever feel like a fake? Like you care about the poor and world peace but you don't do anything…like what can I do? I'm only one person…but you want to help out, you want to help change the world, even just a little bit. But again, the niggling…'what good can I do'?
My heart breaks, for the homeless (my it's cold tonight), for the poor, for the sick, for those without Jesus. For those who don't have God...His heart is breaking too.
God, while I sit here and wait for you to say 'go', please show me something I can do locally. Something you can smile upon. I know you are directing our paths, the future might only be 3-4 months away, but I want to start serving you NOW. Help me to do that at work, even more than I already do. Help me to not take things for granted.
So maybe for now I pray?
and my life is the play
and the audience is people in my life
and i'm standing backstage watching it happen
but it's exciting
like watching what God is doing and being willing to just 'go with His flow'
i'm not scared or stressed or anything
it's different from anything i've ever experienced
i just trust Him
Do you ever feel like a fake? Like you care about the poor and world peace but you don't do anything…like what can I do? I'm only one person…but you want to help out, you want to help change the world, even just a little bit. But again, the niggling…'what good can I do'?
My heart breaks, for the homeless (my it's cold tonight), for the poor, for the sick, for those without Jesus. For those who don't have God...His heart is breaking too.
God, while I sit here and wait for you to say 'go', please show me something I can do locally. Something you can smile upon. I know you are directing our paths, the future might only be 3-4 months away, but I want to start serving you NOW. Help me to do that at work, even more than I already do. Help me to not take things for granted.
So maybe for now I pray?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)