misc heavy-hearted thoughts

lately I've been heavy hearted over the western 'church'. i fear it has lost focus of the basic and most simplistic values. a dear friend just emailed me his sorrow over the same thing. he talked about how the western way of doing church has become so shallow. sadly, i agree.

he writes: We've traded "leaving everything, picking up your cross and following the King" for what we see as "security." We are no longer secure in our son-ship, or the future hope we have, but rather, we find our security in our marriages, our family, our house, our bodies, our politics, our religion, me, me, me, me, me.

i've been reading the ragamuffin gospel, by brennan manning:
‘Quite simply, our deep gratitude to Jesus Christ is manifested neither in being chaste, honest, sober, and respectable, nor in churchgoing, Bible-toting, and Psalm-singing, but in our deep and delicate respect for one another.’

‘In truth I tell you, in so far as you did this to one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it to me’
-Matthew 25:40

Ten fe

Ten fe: Have faith

I have faith that God will provide, that He has been and continues to move us in this direction. Today, I am scared...what if I don't have enough faith?

Mark 4:40
But He said to them, "Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?"

Sometimes I wonder :
Are we supposed to have more faith?
Is it okay to be nervous?
What if everything doesn't come together?
Should I take the leap?
But what if...???

Then God speaks...

'Quiet child, you don't have to have all of the answers'. 'That is why you have Me'.

And I lean in to Him just a little more.

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

Matthew 17:20 “Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.”

living or dying

brennan manning says 'we are either living a little more or dying a little bit'.

i wonder which i am.

i've often wondered about my behavior right now, while i am waiting on God's timing. it is easy to say that when i am involved in full time ministry, i will have more time to pray, to study, to bask in His presence. and i've gone back on that and asked myself, 'why wait?'. so i've taken miniscule steps in the present to draw closer to God.

i want more.

i am waiting on the Lord. for His timing. for Him to say 'go'.

and in the meantime, i will check my bad attitude at the door, i will wake singing His praises and end my night listening for His voice. because i want to live a little more, not die a little bit.

but i need strength from Him to do so...and so i continue to pray that He will provide.

Wait on the Lord: Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait I say, on the Lord. Psalm 27:14