I've been wrestling with some thoughts lately and although I haven't come to any conclusion, here's what I'm thinking:
I feel frustrated with church. On Saturday evenings, I get so anxious. I agree to attend a church service but ONLY one (the rest of my family stays for 2-3 of the morning services every Sunday). I like to be non-committal about which one and how long I will stay...etc. And it BUGS me that I'm like this. I grew up in the church, have a family of pastors, studied theology in college, and am moving to Barcelona to 'plant a church'.
I sat outside this last Sunday after church and contemplated.
I realized that my frustration is not with the church, but with the lack of initiative and/or responsibility within the members. I believe that church is not supposed to be easy. Somehow, we've molded church to fit within the American Dream (not the other way around). We carve out just 1.25 hours of our week to go attend a church service where we observe from a pew. The percentage of those involved in ministry is minuscule.
I am currently reading a book called Radical by David Platt. He talks about how Jesus called us to live Radical lives for Him. In scripture, whenever someone asked Jesus what they need to do to follow Him, it was NEVER easy. Jesus spent more time almost talking people out of following Him if you think about it.
So why are we so lethargic? Why do we crave comfortable lives?
There's so much more to this and I don't know how to reconcile my feelings. I am thankful for these stirrings and nigglings in my life and faith because I don't want to be comfortable.
